Automotive Assessments

He: Daddy, you have a really fancy car.

Me: I do?

He: Well, it is a Honda.

The Four-Year-Old As Joke-Writer: Still Way Better Than Leno

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Pickle.

Pickle who?

Pickle, do you want to drink water or beer?

Lyrics to "Safety Badge"

(Note: The following is tuneless. It is to be accompanied by random clapping as you whirl around your living room, trying not to get dizzy. Good luck.)

Safety badge!
Safety badge!
Safety badge!
Safety badge!

Safety badge!
Safety badge!
Safety badge!